Lola’s guide to solo squirting for women

I discovered squirting 10 years after I started my sex life, and I truly believe it’s something any woman can achieve. So I’m sharing everything I’ve learned that helped me get there, so you can try it too!

It Starts in the Mind

The really first requirement to make it happen, is to believe your body is capable of it. Because your beliefs about what your body can or can’t do can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

1. Get comfortable with the idea of letting go/losing control. The squirting sensation can feel very similar to needing to pee, and we’ve spent our whole lives automatically learning to hold it in, so you’re gonna need to be able to consciously let go.
2. Practice squirting first by yourself. The first thing you want to remove is the feeling of being watched. Even with the most patient, non-judgmental partner, being alone gives you the space to relax, explore, and “fail” without anyone else’s expectations. Since squirting can look a lot like peeing, there can be a lot of unconscious shame or tension around it. So believe me, trying it alone first before bringing a partner into it can help A LOT.
3. Make your space waterproof. It will remove yet another mental barrier if you’re not stressing about getting your bed getting wet or making a mess. Get some towels on the bed and forget about it!
4. Choose the right space. This ties into the previous advice, depending on how you feel about it, your bed might not be the best place to try (again, we’ve spent our lives training to hold that peeing sensation in, especially in our beds). If that’s the case you might be more comfortable trying this in a space that’s 100% safe like a bathtub or sitting down in the shower. Having everything wet around you can also help mentally.
5. Clear out your schedule. Some of you might get there quickly, but in my experience, I need a long warm-up and plenty of time to explore the sensations before it happens. Sometimes I have an orgasm without squirting, but I can keep going and squirt afterwards, with or without another orgasm.

Important: Don’t put too much pressure or expectations on the outcome of this practice. If nothing happens the first time you try it, it doesn’t mean that it will never happen and that you can’t do it. You’ll need time to get used to these new sensations, and understand how your body works around it. You might need many sessions! But the good news is: even if it doesn’t happen you’ll still get to play with pretty cool sensations 😏 and who knows, maybe you’ll never squirt but find out about new things you like or new self pleasure techniques along the way!

Mastering your pelvic floor muscles

Pelvic floor muscles are such a crucial part of feminine sex health and health in general, I really need to write a dedicated blog post about that at some point. For squirting, having a good understanding and control of these muscles can really help. First, learn to connect with your pelvic floor and control both the contraction and the release. This is different from Kegels, which sometimes focus more on strengthening the muscles. Here, knowing how to fully relax them might be even more important than knowing how to contract them. Yoni egg exercises can be helpful for this!

The day of, getting ready

Now that you’re in the right mindset, and you’re in control of your pelvic floor muscles, here are the things you need for actual squirting practice:

1. Use toys. They helped me so much. Clitoral stimulation toys were especially helpful for me. The most effective for squirting has been air-pulse technology, because the sensation can get really intense, but vibrators work well too. Some women can squirt from internal stimulation alone, but that’s not the case for me, so I highly recommend giving a toy a try!
2. G-SPOT: Stop looking for one precise spot. It’s more about exploring the upper vaginal wall and finding the area that feels best for you. Your most sensitive area might be deeper, wider, or simply different from the tiny “G-spot” you’ve been told to look for.
3. Stay hydrated. You don’t need to drink a ton of water, but make sure you’re not dehydrated. Squirting involves fluid coming from the bladder, so it makes sense to give your body enough water to work with.

My own Step by step technique:

Keep in mind that we’re all different and if something feels different from what I describe it’s totally normal, the goal is to experience and to find what works for YOUR body, the step by step is just here to give you directions

1. Get comfortable
Get into a position that feels good. My favorite one for squirting is on my back, with a couple of pillows supporting my head.

2. Start with clitoral stimulation
Take your favorite clitoral stimulation toy (a Satisfyer or a Magic Wand, for example) and start on a lower vibration setting. Spend some time warming up and getting properly aroused.

3. Add your finger
Once you’re aroused, add one finger inside your vagina, while keeping the toy on your clitoris. (Don’t forget to use lube, it’s gonna make it wayyy more confortable)
Curl your finger towards the upper vaginal wall and start exploring.

4. Find what feels good
Make soft “come here” movements with your finger. Don’t look for one specific “G-spot” you’re looking for the area where it feels good and where you get that sensation that reminds you of needing to pee.
It can feel a little weird or not particularly pleasurable at first. That’s okay. It’s a sensation you can get used to and learn to enjoy as it becomes more familiar.
It shouldn’t hurt. If it does, you’re probably pressing too hard.

5. Take your time
This is the part where you can really chill and explore. Stay here for as long as you want.
Try not to rush towards the “squirting outcome.” Instead, focus on understanding where you feel that sensation, how it changes, and what kind of pleasure you can create from it.
The more familiar you become with the sensation, the easier it can be to recognize what your body is doing.

6. Build the pressure
Once you’re really aroused and comfortable with the sensation, turn up the intensity of your toy.
Keep stimulating your clitoris while continuing to stimulate the upper vaginal wall with one or two fingers.
You’ll likely start feeling more tension and pressure building in your pelvic muscles. You might also feel like you’re getting close to an orgasm.
Let that tension build for a little while. When it becomes very intense, relax your pelvic muscles. Just like you practiced during your Yoni exercises (this is where squirting would probably happen).

7. Repeat if you need to
If it doesn’t happen the first time, don’t worry. Let your muscles contract again and allow the arousal and pressure to build back up. Then try relaxing them again.
You can repeat this a few times.
And if you have an orgasm without squirting, that doesn’t mean you’ve missed your chance. If you still feel like continuing, you can keep going. You might squirt afterwards, without another orgasm, or you might even have a second one!