Rules of the challenge
He sits comfortably while you sit or kneel behind him. You use your hands to pleasure him, while he guides you with words and feedback, and shows you when needed. The focus is on learning how he likes to be touched. No penetration or other stimulation. This is about him only.
What you need
Tips
Are you curious to see how it went for us? Watch the video of us taking on this challenge here.
What James loved
This was completely new for me. We’ve been together for years and somehow I’ve never really shared how I like my dick to be touched and stroked, I like how Lola does it but I would also do it in a different way if I’m just playing solo. The fact that she was giving me a handjob and I could just tell her to ‘grab it harder’ or to ‘focus on the tip’ and she would then instantly adjust was incredible. It’s like choosing the perfect sensations, just as you would do it solo, but while sharing with your partner and being taken care of. There’s kind of a taboo around male self pleasure, it’s usually something we tend to hide. This me feel like I was giving Lola a peak into my “masturbation routine”. The fact that she loved it and had so much fun experimenting how to touch me like I usually would was super freeing and sensual!
Why Lola loved
What I loved about this challenge is how much it surprised me. After five years together, and with our job revolving around filming and sharing our sex life, I genuinely thought I already knew how he liked to be touched. I had never really asked, because I assumed pleasing a guy was simple: up and down, medium pressure, done. Turns out, there are way more nuances than I expected. This challenge made me realise how much we underestimate men’s pleasure. I like knowing more precisely what works for him, instead of relying on assumptions.
Our experience with this challenge started very naturally. We wanted to be intimate, but I was on my period and I don’t enjoy penetrative sex during that time. Instead of dropping the idea of intimacy altogether, we went back to something we’ve talked about before: sex and closeness don’t always have to be balanced or lead to penetration. Sometimes it can be all about him, sometimes all about me, we like the idea of not turning pleasure into a transaction: I enjoy giving without receiving, and I also enjoy the opposite.
Earlier this year, he mentioned that just having me there, watching him self pleasure, was enough to make him feel like it was something we were experiencing together. At first, the idea was simply for me to kneel behind him, close and almost cuddled, watching over his shoulder and just witnessing the moment. I could participate if I wanted to, but I didn’t have to.
We started that way, but after a while, I naturally wanted to use my hands too. As I watched him I realised that he wasn’t touching himself the way I usually do when I pleasure him. I told him so, and he started guiding me: he adjusted the position of my hand, the pressure, the way of moving. I immediately thought how interesting it was that this was the first time he had really explained this while I was touching him. I listened, tried what he suggested, asked for feedback, adjusted again. There was something really sexy about seeing him receive pleasure while calmly guiding me at the same time. At some point, he even showed me variations, alternate playing only with the tip of his penis for a while, then going back to a full movement. I played with all that for a while, and he clearly enjoyed it. It also built a real sense of complicity between us.
We offer two courses: For Men and For Women.
Each course can be taken independently, but they were designed to complement one another. For the best results, we recommend that both partners take their respective version.
