Edging (for him)

The Recipe

Rules of the challenge

Give your partner a handjob as you normally would
When you feel like he’s getting really close to orgasm, slow down (or even maybe completely stop) as much as you need to make sure he doesn’t orgasm.
If you feel he’s cooled down too much or you feel it’s becoming too easy for him, increase the pace again.
Your goal is to find the perfect intensity that will keep him as close as possible to the edge of orgasm
Try to make it last at least 20 minutes before releasing him

What you need

• Lube or oil are a must for prolonged handjobs
• Optional: male sex toys or masturbators can be great if you have them

Tips

1. Communication is key for this challenge. Agree on a way for him to warn you BEFORE he’s about to reach the point of no return (could be saying “I’m close” or could just be a signal like “I’ll squeeze your hand to let you know”)
2. You can also keep things slow and go for really long edging sessions. These are great for him to be able to focus on the sensations of pleasure without having to worry about climaxing too fast. 
3. Mix sensations. One hand. Two hands. Focus on the tip. Then the balls. Then both at the same time. Just explore different sensations and see which moves/areas get him excited the most. You can use that knowledge to make things move faster/slower when needed.
4. Don’t just trust him to say when he gets close. Pay attention to all the signs his body gives you. Does he tense a certain way when he gets close? Does breathing get faster? Learn the signs of his pleasure. The ultimate goal would be to control his pleasure and orgasms without him needing to say anything.

Are you curious to see how it went for us?

Watch the video of us taking on this challenge here.

Rating

What James loved

What I really enjoyed was the idea that I was going to get half an hour (maybe even more) of Lola just taking care of me. And I didn’t have the pressure of “What if I orgasm after a few minutes?” because I knew this was part of the game and wouldn’t be allowed. I also loved giving Lola agency over my orgasm, knowing that she’s keeping an eye on me and trying to read all the signals to tell her when I would get close. Usually, as men, I feel like getting close to orgasm (especially when you don’t mean to) can be a source of stress or shame. This time it was kind of the point, and we were both playing a game around that concept!
I think this is a great way to remove some anxiety around male orgasm (if there is any) and a fun way for women to get to read their partner’s body, to know its signals better. After doing this a few times, I can imagine Lola having a much better understanding of my pleasure and so in turn, feeling more empowered about actively pacing things during sex based on that.

What Lola loved

I do like a lot when we engage in sex practices that don’t involve reciprocity from time to time. It’s nice for me to be able to fully focus on giving some pleasure to James, without being distracted, and I do love to tease him. I can see that he was getting a little bit frustrated toward the end, but that was kind of the point of the challenge!

Our Experience

For this one I (James), really felt the “challenge” part of this Couple Challenge, way harder than I thought it would be!

The concept is super straightforward so there’s not much to explain. We were on the couch and Lola just basically did everything she could to drive me crazy and push me to the edge…
Only to stop at the worst possible time, every time!

What was interesting and that made things even harder (quite literally), was that when she was slowing down I kept wanting to experience more pleasure so I would beg for her to give me a blowjob or to go faster or to touch my balls at the same time. Which she would then do. Which would get me too close. And then everything would stop again. So it was almost self inflicted torture at this point!

What I’ve noticed and that might be relevant for other couples: I tend to be very ‘mentally involved’ and in control during sex. The fact that with this challenge I was supposed to refrain from orgasming when I was still in control of my movements made it a weird mental challenge where you have to refrain yourself constantly. Also, Lola went expert level on me and pushed me to my limits constantly with some amazing blowjob and fast handjob skills, just how I like it. But if we were to do it again I would change two things:

1. I would want Lola to tie my hands and feet to completely remove the capacity for movement. I think once my mind and body realise that taking things under control isn’t going to happen no matter what I’d be able to relax even more into the experience
2. I would like to experiment with super slow and soft stimulation. This time edging felt like these huge waves where you go from no touch to wanting to orgasm and back down in 5 minutes. I’d be interested in playing with edging where it’s just barely enough stimulation to keep you going up in sensations. But at such a slow pace that you’re going crazy because your partner is keeping it under the ‘orgasm threshold’: when there’s not quite sufficient motion / pressure to actually orgasm from it, even if they were to do it for hours. Another kind of torture, I think I’d love that!