Almost every day, like clockwork, around 3PM, my body wakes up. It’s subtle at first. A little hum under my skin, a shift in my breath. And then there it is. It’s like this familiar warmth low in my belly, in between my thighs, and feels like it’s been waiting patiently all day.
3pm is my sweet spot 🤭
Does that happen to you too? Do you ever just feel it hit out of nowhere, like your body suddenly wants attention?
Do you masturbate a lot?
I do. Or at least, it feels like I do. Sometimes I wonder if it’s tied to my anxiety, or dopamine, or both. When I’m alone and the apartment is quiet, it’s almost automatic. My mind drifts there. Not out of boredom, but because it’s a rare chance to let go completely. I feel safe to get lost in myself.
How often do you? Is it strange to crave that kind of release every time I’m alone? I’ve noticed mine shifts with my cycle. There are days when my skin feels electric and others when it’s the last thing on my mind.
And what about the “how?”
Do you need porn? Do you drift into fantasy? Your imagination? Do you listen to erotic audio?
For me, it’s all about sound. The auditory sounds of people experiencing pleasure has this ability to pull me in instantly. The right voice, the right breath, the tension between words. It’s like foreplay for my imagination. There was a phase when I devoured fantasy romance novels too. Some of them were hot as fuck (depending on the writing 😆). That slow burn, the context, the steady unraveling between two people made me melt in the best way.
There was a time, though, when I felt shame about all of it. Shame for wanting to listen to women moan, for imagining myself both with her and as her. The one giving and receiving pleasure at once. It’s still wild how something that should feel natural and human can be wrapped up in so much guilt.
Even now I catch myself thinking, “Am I doing this too much?” “Shouldn’t I be able to come without any help?” “Is this normal?” But then I remind myself there is no “normal.” Everyone’s wired differently and we all find pleasure in different ways.
The tricky part? My girlfriend’s sex drive runs a little lower than mine. In Come As You Are, Emily Nagoski calls it the “Sexual Excitation System,” basically the internal gas pedal for desire. For some people, the pedal presses easily. For others, it takes a perfect combination of touch, fantasy, emotional connection, the right light, the right mood, and maybe more.
I don’t think she’d mind if I said, “Hey, I’m horny, I’m going to go masturbate.” But when she’s home, it feels weirdly vulnerable. We sometimes masturbate together during sex, but me doing it solo while she’s just in the other room? That feels too exposed.
And maybe that’s something I need to unlearn.
Logically I know that solo pleasure doesn’t have to be secret or performative. It can just be mine. A way to connect to my own body, to keep cultivating a sense of selfishness and self-trust that I’ve avoided because the thought of untangling the mental blocks to get there is a fucking lot.
I mean, progress isn’t linear. Some days I feel more connected and grounded, and other days it’s pure chaos. I’m overthinking and distracted, wondering if I’m “doing it right.” But maybe that’s all part of learning to rewrite the script.
But, if I’m being honest, I’ll probably still be masturbating tomorrow at 3PM 😏
♡ Anna
We offer two courses: For Men and For Women.
Each course can be taken independently, but they were designed to complement one another. For the best results, we recommend that both partners take their respective version.
