I lay down to take a break from work and found myself wandering into curiosity as usual. Have you ever really looked at your pussy? Not just glanced, but actually looked? Studied it, even. Lingered?
There I was, lying in bed, phone in hand. I switched to the front-facing camera and took a photo of her. I looked at the photo and my gut reaction was…ew. But in that same thought I almost immediately caught myself and said, ‘Wait. What the fuck? Why is that my reaction? This part of our body does so much for us. It’s incredibly powerful. She brings humans into the world, gives us intense pleasure, and can be really fucking annoying. So why would my first response be “ew”??? Why not lean into the power of her? Maybe next time I’ll take a video. Watch myself slowly caressing, circling, teasing with my fingers. Closing my eyes, feeling into it.
It makes me sad how little we’re taught to have a relationship with our own anatomy. Men grow up seeing their dicks front and center. Touching and comparing. Obsessed. For women, that part of our bodies is hidden away. Harder to see and harder to know. It’s like we have to go out of our way to become familiar with ourselves. To not just use our pussies for sex or reproduction, but to actually connect with them.
I love women’s bodies. I love going down on my girlfriend, watching her unravel in pleasure. That view and experience is endlessly hot to me. And yet, when it comes to myself, my first instinct is distance and hesitation. When we are having sex and she goes down on me, I mentally recoil and am immediately disconnected from sensation. How do I change that?
Lube helps. I haven’t used it much until recently,, but now I can’t masturbate without it. It makes a huge difference. My girlfriend gets wet in that gorgeous, overflowing way. Slick all over. I do get wet, but it mostly stays inside me. So lube has been this little ally, helping me feel more sensations and touch more. It takes away a bit of anxiety.
While it’s always amazing to climax, I’m going to try and shift my mindset to touch without the pressure of an orgasm. To linger on my clit, trace the folds of my labia, slide my fingers inside and bring the wetness up to where I want it. I want to learn the tiny details of what makes me gasp and be really mindful and present in that space. I’m hoping this guides me to bodily connection through the lense of love and curiosity instead of judgement. I’ve been searching for a guided mindful masturbation video I can watch to help. Do you know of any?
I’m realizing I need more of this. Unrushed time with myself, without performance or goals. Just the practice of touch. A way to listen, slow down, relax. To pay attention and hopefully turn “ew” into “oh.”
♡ Anna
We offer two courses: For Men and For Women.
Each course can be taken independently, but they were designed to complement one another. For the best results, we recommend that both partners take their respective version.
