# James & Lola > Couple since 2020. We share our most intimate moments online and tell you about the things we learn along the way. ## Posts - [Penis sleeve: Our experience (first time)](https://jameswithlola.com/penis-sleeve-our-experience-first-time/): We had never heard of “penis sleeves” until recently. What surprised us is how fast we went from “Why would people buy this? Is anyone really wearing that for sex??” to “This is amazing, every couple should have one.” - [Our version of the 'Sensate Focus' experience](https://jameswithlola.com/our-version-of-the-sensate-focus-experience/): We recently came across Sensate Focus and decided to give it a try, with a few little changes to make it work for us. We loved it so much that we wanted to share our version with you! - [Unlock squirting during couple play](https://jameswithlola.com/unlock-squirting-during-partner-play/): Prerequisites This article covers squirting during couple play, before you jump in we believe that you (the female partner) should already have squirted by yourself in order to have a good understanding of the techniques that get you there. Trying to figure this out for the first time with your partner is, in our opinion, a lot harder. If you haven’t unlocked this as a woman, we’d recommend reading Lola’s guide on Solo Squirting: Read the guide Once you’ve managed to do it a couple of times by yourself, feel free to come back here to experiment with your partner!   […] - [Lola's guide to solo squirting for women](https://jameswithlola.com/lolas-guide-to-solo-squirting-for-women/): I discovered squirting 10 years after I started my sex life, and I truly believe it’s something any woman can achieve. Here are my top tips! - [(11) When change feels like shit (but probably means something’s working)](https://jameswithlola.com/navigating-sexual-growth-long-term-relationship/): What happens when your sexual awakening moves faster than your relationship? I’m learning that navigating sexual growth with a long term partner can be messy, uncomfortable, emotional, and maybe exactly where the real growth begins. - [(10) The 3pm sweet spot](https://jameswithlola.com/female-masturbation-self-pleasure-3pm/): When the clock hits 3pm my body reminds me what it means to want. I'm re-learning how to explore self-pleasure without shame. - [(09) There must be something wrong with me](https://jameswithlola.com/there-must-be-something-wrong-with-me/): Our first couples therapy session went well, then it broke open years of sexual trauma, anxiety, and patterns I thought I had left behind. Maybe healing isn’t about waiting for time to pass, but giving myself new experiences of safety, connection, and choice. - [(08) Pussy breathing](https://jameswithlola.com/pussy-breathing-emotional-release/): A simple pelvic floor breathing practice led to something I never expected: tears. What began as an experiment in reconnecting with my body became a powerful reminder that our bodies often hold emotions long after our minds have moved on. This is an honest reflection on sexual healing, embodiment, and learning to listen to what my body has been trying to say all along. - ["My BF doesn't desire me, instead he watches porn everyday." (MEGAN)](https://jameswithlola.com/my-bf-doesnt-desire-me/): Megan reached out to us because she no longer felt desired in her relationship. After discovering her boyfriend had been watching porn almost every day, she wondered whether it was the cause of their intimacy issues. - [Exploring MMF threesome fantasy (role play)](https://jameswithlola.com/exploring-with-our-friend/): Curious about a MMF threesome, but not sure you'd ever want the real thing? This challenge lets you explore the fantasy together in a safe, playful way using your imagination! - [(07) Faking it](https://jameswithlola.com/my-girlfriend-is-home-and-i-faked-it/): The sex was good. Playful and alive, even! Until I left my body and fell into an old script. Now I’m facing the moment I faked it and what it stirred up. - [(06) Help me find a vibrator](https://jameswithlola.com/g-spot-vibrator-search-continues/): The search for the perfect g-spot vibrator continues with a few surprises along the way. Sexual exploration is never boring. - [Making Sex Tapes as a Couple: 5 Ways It Changed Our Relationship](https://jameswithlola.com/making-sex-tapes-as-a-couple/): We’ve filmed almost 300 sex tapes together, it's one of the best things we’ve ever done for our relationship. - [Doggy in front of a mirror](https://jameswithlola.com/doggy-in-front-of-a-mirror/): Ever wondered what it would feel like to see yourselves having sex from a completely different perspective? - [Edging (for him)](https://jameswithlola.com/edging-for-him/): What if the goal wasn't to orgasm, but to stay on the edge for as long as possible? - [The BDSM dungeon](https://jameswithlola.com/the-bdsm-dungeon/): Ever wondered what it's actually like inside a BDSM dungeon? This challenge is all about stepping outside your comfort zone, exploring new dynamics together, and discovering what sparks your curiosity. - [Side-by-Side Self-Pleasure Challenge](https://jameswithlola.com/side-by-side-self-pleasure-challenge/): You can kiss, watch, talk, tease... but your hands stay on your own body. It's a surprisingly difficult challenge that builds anticipation in a completely different way. - [Guided Handjob: Learning How He Likes It](https://jameswithlola.com/guided-handjob-learning-how-he-likes-it/): How well do you really know what your partner enjoys? - [Taking Full Control While My Boyfriend Is Blindfolded](https://jameswithlola.com/taking-full-control-while-my-boyfriend-is-blindfolded/): Take away one sense, and the others come alive. - [Going out in public while wearing a remote control vibrator](https://jameswithlola.com/going-out-in-public-while-wearing-a-remote-control-vibrator/): How does a simple walk, dinner, or date turn into an unforgettable adventure? This challenge adds a playful secret that only the two of you share, making even the most ordinary moments feel anything but ordinary. - [(05) A practice in touch](https://jameswithlola.com/how-to-connect-with-your-body-sexually/): A raw, intimate reflection on learning to actually look at my own vulva. Turning “ew” into “oh” through curiosity, lube, and slower, pressure-free touch. - [(04) When will my body be enough?](https://jameswithlola.com/when-will-my-body-feel-like-enough/): Why is feeling confident in your body so hard? I'm unpacking body image, old relationship wounds, and what it takes to reclaim my confidence and sensuality. - [(03) Insomnia](https://jameswithlola.com/using-a-gspot-vibrator/): At 3 am, wide awake and restless, I decided to try a g-spot vibrator for the first time. It was really far from perfect, but was the beginning of something new.. - [(02) Saturday night](https://jameswithlola.com/exploring-desire-sexual-voyeurism/): Catching the sounds of my roommate’s hookup sent me deeper into my sexual exploration... - [(01) A new chapter in desire](https://jameswithlola.com/meet-anna/): Sex, desire, shame, play. I’m unraveling it all one messy confession at a time. - [Experts say porn is bad, so we made this.](https://jameswithlola.com/is-porn-really-bad-for-you/): When it comes to porn, the internet often delivers the same verdict: Porn is bad for you. You’ll hear claims that it’s addictive, unrealistic, or makes you feel guilty. But in our hyper-connected world, where information flows freely, the idea that porn will disappear seems unrealistic to us. Especially for younger generations who will inevitably go online when looking for answers about sex. Unfortunately, those answers can be misleading or flat-out wrong. So, we asked ourselves: Can we save porn?Can we create porn that’s healthier, more authentic, and accurately represents what good sex should look like?   The 3 rules we […] - [Why do we still wear condoms? (After 5 years together)](https://jameswithlola.com/why-we-still-wear-condoms/): One of the most common questions we receive is: Why do you still wear condoms if you’ve been in a committed, monogamous relationship for five years? And we get it! Many people assume that once a couple is exclusive, condoms become unnecessary. But for us, the answer is a little more complex.   The Problem with Hormonal Birth Control Like many couples, we experimented with different contraceptive methods. I (Lola) started with the pill, but within two weeks, I realized I was forgetting to take it almost every day. That clearly wasn’t going to work for me, so I switched to […] - [Do women actually enjoy facials?](https://jameswithlola.com/three-myths-about-facials/): If there’s one thing we’ve learned from being online creators, it’s that a few topics always spark heated debates: religion, politics…. and facials. Yes, facials. We had no idea this would be such a divisive subject until we posted a sextape featuring one. Some people were shocked, others disapproved, and a few even questioned our dynamic as a couple. That reaction made us curious: why is this act so controversial? So, we did what any responsible couple would do: we turned to Reddit for ‘research’. Here’s what we found, along with our own take on the three biggest myths about facials. 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